My Approach

Psychotherapy attends to the most hidden and unknown parts of the self. I am curious about the deeper meaning of your difficulties and where they might have originated. Together, we explore the thoughts, beliefs, fantasies, dreams, relationship patterns and socio-cultural contexts that influence your everyday way of being. Your childhood, family history and painful past experiences/traumas are all taken into account as a part of who you are as a person in the world, rather than your diagnosis or observable symptoms.

Therapy offers a space for you to speak freely, directly, and openly about whatever comes to mind, uncensored. As social beings, we tend to silence and avoid unacceptable thoughts, wishes, and anything else that would bring about painful feelings like shame, guilt, and rage. One of the goals of therapy is to expand what is okay to voice out loud.

Speaking things out fully, you can unravel the various “knots” in your mind that created the conditions for your suffering and keep you feeling stuck. These knots are made up of dilemmas, impasses, contradictions, and conflicts that get communicated through inexplicable pain and psychological symptoms. As we put these difficult-to-name experiences into words and acquire new insights about them, we can greatly reduce the power these experiences have over our lives.

Change happens when we take greater responsibility for how we want to live. Among other things, you may find that the way you dealt with problems in the past is no longer serving you now, and that a fundamental change is necessary in your life in order to grow. Therapy can help you identify the crucial decisions that will shape your path moving forward into the future.

Change can’t happen without taking a risk. There are no guarantees in life. Yet staying stuck in the same place is costly. Therapy invites you to face your fears and step into the unknown, for this is your only opportunity to create something new in your life.

““And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom” ”
— Anais Nin

This approach is a good fit for people who favor treatments that go beyond receiving only validation, or acquiring skills to cope with immediate problems. It may take a longer time, but it is certainly not meant to go on without an end in sight.

For more information on my approach, read What is Psychoanalytic Therapy?

 

Specialization

I have extensive experience working with Asian American adult children of immigrants who are suffering from the impact of painful conflicts within their family of origin that lead to separation, emotional distance, deep resentment or estrangement. You may experience chronic guilt, shame, and imposter syndrome, despite the fact you’re doing well on paper. Despite wanting to move on with your life, painful memories of where you came from cast a dark shadow on your thoughts and decisions. This can make it very difficult to form close, trusting relationships.

In therapy we speak about the role of cultural expectations and beliefs, parental pressures, gender and sexuality, silence and shame around mental illness, wealth/class status. We examine how your earliest relationships shape how you relate to others and yourself.

Other Specialties:

  • Mourning, anxiety, persistent sadness, worry or guilt

  • Exploration of one’s gender and sexuality, nonbinary/ transgender experiences

  • Parenting concerns

  • Dating and love troubles

  • Self doubt, perfectionism, self-esteem

  • Decision paralysis, avoidance and procrastination

  • Working through traumatic events and memories

  • Restoring intimacy and closeness for couples

  • Infertility, perinatal wellbeing, and complicated feelings about being a mother or parent

    1. First, schedule a 15-20 minute phone consultation. We will briefly discuss what you are looking for and determine whether it makes sense to schedule a first session

    2. Preliminary Intake Sessions. Within the span of 1-3 introductory sessions, I will take the time to get to know your reasons for seeking therapy, collect detailed information about your struggles throughout your life, current situation, and family and relationship history. This is also a time for assessing the “fit” between us, and whether you will likely benefit from the type of therapy I provide.

    3. Therapy Begins. After it is determined that we can work together, we will set a regular time to meet. You will be asked to come to your sessions without anything planned, and to speak to whatever is on your mind at the time as your thoughts arise. In the beginning I will welcome your questions and explain what I’m doing as we go, as the process of therapy can feel a bit strange, especially if you are new to it. Therapy is a unique experience for each and every person.

  • Therapy Frequency, Duration and Termination

    In order to ensure the effectiveness of therapy, I ask that you commit to coming at a frequency of at least once per week at a regular time, for a minimum duration of 10-12 weeks.

    When you are ready to end the work, we will speak about the reasons for ending and prepare to bring the therapy to a conclusion. Ideally, termination would take place over 3-5 sessions. Of course, you may come back to work with me again if anything else comes up in your life.